One Question Every Mom Should Ask

As moms, it’s so easy to get bogged down in the details…dishes, laundry, brushing teeth, baths, and the list goes on and on.  And yet, we all know that the real job of a mom is so much more than the details.

The details feel urgent and often overwhelm us, keeping us from focusing on the wildly important mom tasks, like reading stories, teaching lessons, and modeling a life of meaning for our children.  No, we don’t all have to be Mother Theresa to accomplish this but, I believe, we do need to search for our place in this world.

Why?  Because our kids are watching.  Not just whether we say “please” and “thank you” or how many veggies we eat.  They’re watching how we live life…what we hold valuable and what we are quick to dismiss.

For this reason, I always ask myself, “What would I want my kids to do?”  And there’s my answer.  Believe me, it’s not the most fun way to live because, usually, what I want my kids to do is not the easy thing to do but the right thing to do.  The right thing is almost always the hard thing.

Ultimately, here’s what I want for my kids…I want them to be happy and fulfilled, caring and sensitive, and, above all, good people over being “successful.”

As I contemplated whether or not to quit my well-paying corporate job, I thought about my kids.  I definitely had the fleeting, “What about the money?” thought.  And then, there was one big question that kept popping up… “What would I want my kids to do? Is this what I want for them?”  Do I want them to work in a job for the rest of their life in which they don’t feel like they’re using their gifts?  Do I want them to make decisions solely for money?  A resounding, “No!”

Do I want them to always be learning and growing?  Do I want them to do what they know in their hearts to be right?  Do I want them to dream big dreams for the rest of their lives?

And there was my answer.

No matter what your decision is about, be it a career or a health goal or a relationship, ask yourself, “What would I want my kids to do?”


Note: WWKD is in no way intended to disregard the significance of WWJD.  This is simply a way of re-framing the point that the way to make any decision is to ask, “What is right?”  Whether it be “What would Jesus do?” or “What would I want my kids to do?”  In my opinion, the answer is always one and the same.


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Kristyn H.

Author: Kristyn H.

Kristyn is a recovering CPA! After struggling for 3 years to get pregnant, she overhauled her diet and lifestyle overnight and was expecting 6 weeks later. Needless to say, this experience changed her life and she is pursuing her passion of inspiring others to lead healthy lifestyles.

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  1. I love this! I have always been a huge believer in leading through example, but this really inspires thought. Usually when practicing this, it is with things like behaviors, habits, and actions, but I am definitely guilty of not taking that into account when making major life decisions. Definitely some important food for thought!

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  2. This is an interesting idea. I find that any time I stop and look at a situation from another perspective, I get new insights. I’ll have to try this technique of considering how my kids would view my behaviour. Thanks for sharing.

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  3. As a grandmother who watches her grandchildren everyday, I am very aware of the watchful, little eyes that see everything, and the little ears that hear the quietest comment. But I never really thought about them watching the major life decisions being made.

    Thank you for raising my awareness. I will certainly be more mindful of this from now on.

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  4. I love this…It really is so important for us to teach our children what is important in life by the example we set. I don’t want my children to be the type of people who simply follow the rules; I want them to be the kind of people who WANT to follow the rules and do the right thing.

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  5. I appreciate your outlook on this topic. I always want to instill good values and positive decision making skills into my children. I believe that children look at actions above what you tell them.

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  6. Interesting. As a mom of 2 fellas, I suppose I think this way subconsciously, but reading your words puts the idea out there front and center. So often, I talk with my boys about behaving in a way that not only makes me proud, but them as well. I feel like I consider my children in all things, but really asking that question — in this moment, what would I want my kids to do — well, it could impart some changes for sure. In this moment, would I want my kids to consider saving their money instead of spending it on a latte? Would I counsel them to get to bed earlier or perhaps not take on more than they should? I may be asking this question a little more. Thanks!

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  7. Nice, I appreciate your feedback and thoughts on this. I also agree that positive role models demonstrating “success” is key. Success is not always one thing, but can be many things. It’s important for kids to create their vision of success rather than to be told what it is. There are too many adults in this world that are frustrated and in therapy because they feel they didn’t live up to someone’s expectations.

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  8. i agree that kids certainly do what they see- rather than what they hear. Modelling is so important..I like how you ask yourself- what would my kids do? I often ask..what would love do now- it has me usually think in terms of what is best for everyone involved. Love your approach here 🙂

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